Agony + Ecstasy

I've recently learned that my biggest mistake is that bad habit of not believing someone when they tell me their truth at the beginning of a relationship. Thinking ‘that isn't right’ or ‘I'm sure I can help’ or ‘together we can make it right’ or some such conceit. So: if I had listened to my first husband when he told me his goal was to go mad, then when he threatened suicide: if I'd paid attention and said to myself: do I really really want to have children with this man, given what his goals are? I would have said no, and moved on to have my children with someone healthier and happier. Instead I loved his neediness, his brilliance and creativity and thought I could change his goals. I thought I wouldn't believe him because he might think those things but - surely with me as his wife, that wouldn't necessarily happen, right? Wrong. and it took me a long time to realise that I could do nothing to help this man. Love didn't heal his hurts, intelligenc...

Yeah, this may be boring, but here goes... Wake up 6.30am to my two black polydactyl cats running over the bed like elephants and rain. It rains a lot where I live, especially in the spring, Which is the season we have here now. Northern New Zealand, while the rest of the world has water shortages, it's not so likely here so long as we can collect rain from the sky. Get up after reading on Quora.com Here's my profile there and my answers, good and bad  Quora Profile Take my Dragon's Breath! Ha! Essential drinking for anyone over 50: Check out the recipe Go to fitness blender on YouTube and do a half hour of exercise. Today it was stretching.  Fitness Blender: Awesome Then, wake up further by listening  and dancing to a bunch of Lady Gaga songs while I make breakfast which is home made enriched porridge. Yech! why porridge you ask? I've found that after years of eating crud manufactured breakfast foods or toast for breakfast, that oatmeal or millett porridge wit...

What is one small thing you could say to me to brighten my day? My response   Every day is a day in which you can begin again: with a new attitude: Joy: peace. Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Spirit of America 

Someone asked me on Quora  What's the point of living past the age of 50?   After 50, unless you have a family and / or amassed some assets, what’s the whole point of living? How do people in their 50s feel about their lives, generally? I replied: Anyone aged 50 now stands a good chance of living for double that time. Why quit on life when it’s only half way through? There are amazing breakthroughs in nutrition and exercise and healing which mean that the ailments my grandparents suffered from, I will never suffer from. Ever. There are amazing new people to meet, new challenges every day, amazing things being said on Quora. Over 50 you really don’t care any more about what people think. If you are lucky you have family and friends who care for you and you can spend time with them. If you see someone you like the look of, you can step up to them and say hello. You don’t have to be a wage slave, if you want to start a business online you can. There ar...

Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing  has benefited many authors, but now many small scale authors are beginning to suffer from Amazon randomly cancelling their accounts. Amazon instead of deleting the accounts of click farm scammers, is removing the publishing accounts accounts of hundreds, maybe thousands of small self-published authors who, at one time or another, actually had a book or two bought by a scammer click-farm account. Some people I know who have had this unfair deletion of their accounts and books by the retailer have despaired and quit writing and publishing altogether.  Despair This causes me sincere frustration and I’ll share with you my reasons why.  Part the First:  Over the past 50 years at least professional publishers worldwide have packaged and sold books by millions of authors in different ways depending on where in the world the sale of the books were made. Book sales areas and pricing were tightly controlled.  Many books availabl...

This is a big reason I no longer get drunk at parties, because drunk girls ARE an easy rape/sex target. These guys don’t have the social skills to persuade sober chicks to lay them, so they target drunk girls as a better opportunity.  From the news I've read and discussions I have been a part of there’s quite a lot of men hanging out at any party any part of the world these days checking to see when some chick falls asleep or collapses comatose from drugs or alcohol and they have this idea that drunk girls have no memory of what is happening to them. These men are lazy and socially inept. They also want power over women. "I grew up in a little town in Oxfordshire. I was part of a rebellious crowd. We did drugs and weren't very serious about school. I had lots of relationships, but I wouldn’t describe any of them as romantic. I was looking for one thing: sex. That’s what my life was about when I was that age, chasing girls. I became very preoccupied with pornog...

I'm a convert of Quora.com a community that welcomes questions from anyone over the age of 13, and whose members attempt to answer those questions. Here's my profile link so you can check out my answers to some curly questions. An intriguing question I attempted to answer today was about what things lead a person to going to hell.... and some people made some amazing answers. Here's my list, composed while travelling in a winter rain storm. Raping, killing, maiming, neglecting children. Abducting/using children for sexual pleasure. (Family members are often guilty of this, it's not always strangers) Abusing animals. Discharging toxic waste anywhere. (PCBs are now found in tiny creatures living in the deepest depths of the ocean) the GE designers and builders of Fukashima power plant are on this list: you know who you are. Operating drones in order to kill people. Acting as if your actions have no effect on others or the welfare of the planet. Sit...